smeareddoll

to those who are sick and tired of listening to my cries and fears; to those who kept on boosting up my self-esteem; for those people who went out of their way to comfort me; to those who appreciated the real me- THANK YOU!

i admit that i am a complicated person once you get to know me…. i could be the kindest girl you’ve ever known and then a minute later the worst there is ever! but when i come to think of it, it is in my darkest days that i see who really cares for me. those who are not afraid to tell me my mistakes, faults,etc. and those who could see clearly what is really going on in a particular situation that i am in.

i feel like an amateur- but they sure are a big help to me! especially shielani and nikki… 🙂 everytime i log on to my ym account, ‘m seriously hoping they’re on too! i mean, that had been our means of communication since we do not belong to the same mobile networks so the essence of unlimited texting doesn’t actually affect us. anyway, they have been my counselors and my shoulders-to-cry-on…. they both saw me in my happy-icon moments and sad-faced-icon moments since last month. 🙂 but they are my friends way, way back in HS…

this blog is for them. i love them dearly and i’m very grateful for all that they have done for me!

amazing!

in the stillness of my boring life, it’s amazing how i could find ways to thank God for every bit of happiness i get to feel everyday. Little by little, i can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

i’m learning to appreciate simple things in life. i have a new job now and it does not demand much of my time because it is not an “everyday thing.” i have more time for friends, family- and most especially for myself. i’m not bound to any complicated commitments… Yes, I’m free and happy and i don’t quite miss having someone looking after me, if you catch my drift. also, i’m doing part-time singing inmy brother’s band- yeah, it is only part-time for i only get to sing whenever the original girl-vocalist is not around. but it’s an ok-deal for me because i cannot really do it on a regular basis. but here’s the catch: i compose the songs for the band. i do this in support for my brother who’s actually into the band-thing. i hope we could reach the quota soon so we could record our demo! woohoo!!!

i  never felt this kind of freedom before. i hope i could taste some more of this liberty so i could finally move on and try to live independently. i’m serious. i’m not getting any younger, see?! i have to learn how to do things the right way, be able to decide on hard-core situations correctly and get a hold of myself!

i guess there’s no turning back now….

cheers to the newlyweds!!!

to Herbert and Blanca, may you live happily ever after!!!!

huhuhu! i am so bored. i have been sick for almost a week now- with different sorts of illness! am i being punished? 😦 i hope not. i’m trying to be a good girl now. (totoo!)

i miss the outside air… i miss my friends.. my insomiac buddies… the sneak-outs and booze… sigh! i hope i’m better tomorrow.

im currently listening to “be yourself” by audioslave.

it’s 1:17AM. wednesday, August 2, 2006

i can feel my curls on my shoulder, while tapping my feet on the chair im sitting in.

my head’s bangin’ on the beat of the song!!!

i’m thinking— (blank)